Happiness is a feeling and happiness feels good. Depression is a feeling and depression feels bad. We usually think in those simple terms. Good and bad feelings. Feelings are temporal. They have a beginning and an end. If you are happy, enjoy it because it will not last forever.
Happiness is a feeling attached to your thoughts about various circumstances going on in your life. My son was born healthy. I was happy that he was born and happy that he was born healthy. My son was injured while playing baseball. I was not happy about that. I was rather worried. He soon recovered from his injury and I was happy again. Happiness is situational, in the sense that we have
thoughts about a particular situation that causes us to feel happy.
So, happiness is a feeling and feeling are temporal. Unless. Unless? Unless the feelings are caused by some organic malfunction. For example, an individual may suffer emotional destress from vitamin deficiency, hormone depletion and endogenous brain illnesses. With proper medical treatment, these illnesses can usually be managed effectively.
In most cases, however, we are not dealing with an endogenous physical condition that dictates our emotions. Our feelings are created rather by what we are thinking at any given moment. It is not difficult to see how my feelings of happiness and worry were related to what I was thinking about my son’s situations.
So, we could conclude with some sense of correctness that our thoughts are the primary creators of emotional conditions. Not so much the circumstances, but rather our particular thoughts about the circumstances dictate our emotional condition.
With that fact in mind, we could perhaps try forcing ourselves to think positive thoughts about every situation in life and stay happy. This is, however, quite unreasonable, unhealthy and unworkable. Rather than deny that some situation is hurtful and strive for a perfect state of emotional happiness, we can more realistically find
our shadow of contentment, serenity, and peace of mind. In spite of circumstances it is possible to experience happiness because it is
both a state of being
and a single temporal emotion.
St. Paul in his letter to the church at Philippi alluded to what he had
learned about circumstances and happiness (contentment).
Phillipians 4: 10F
"I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
This idea is not limited to the Christian theology of St. Paul, even though his focus on “him who gives me strength” would no doubt be definitively Christian. Paul states the methods he used to achieve contentment or happiness can be learned. This is good news for all.
Instead of being an emotional victim of any and every circumstance, we can learn to remain in a continual state of contentment. This fact is truly “amazing” (to use my daughter Meredith’s term).
Mathieu Ricard is a genetic biologist, best-selling author, photographer, and Buddhist monk. Residing in the Himalayan region for over forty years, he is noted as “the happiest man alive”, for which he humorously says there is not a shred of evidence. His most recent book,
Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill, is required reading for this blog. Agreeing with St. Paul, Ricard says happiness is much more that a fleeing, temporal good feeling. He notes that happiness is a state (shadow) of contentment that is an acquired skill.
Our first issue at hand is a workable definition of happiness. (1) Happiness is a temporal emotion caused by our particular thoughts about a circumstance in our life (2) Happiness is a contented state of mind determined by prior learning and practice of certain altruistic qualities rather than circumstances. We will now discuss some of the methods we can use to learn happiness, life’s most important skill. Next!
