New Needs and Old Behavior

We are some needy people. All of us. And, we are like birds going from limb to limb trying to find something that will satisfy our neediness. There is something to that prayer that says "Give us this day our daily bread". Because we are needy on a daily basis.

Sometimes the needs are familiar. I am thirsty. I am hungry. I need a job. I need love. I need some rest. We know how to satisfy these familiar needs. We get a drink. We get something to eat. We get a job. We find a relationship. We go to sleep.

Sometimes the needs are strange and perhaps confusing. Feelings related to going off to college and being away from home for the first time. Getting married and starting a family. Going through a divorce and being single again. Having a debilitating illness. Leaving the workforce and entering retirement. Becoming a widow or a widower. These are needs that are not abnormal. But, they are needs that require some adjustments in our thinking and our behavior.

There is a line In the Big Book of Alcoholics that says, "Many of us tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." New situations can create new needs. New needs often call for new ways of thinking. Old ways of thinking and old behaviors may not satisfy new needs.

It may be difficult to admit that what worked for you at one time in your life does not work now. You may have been able to satisfactorily satisfy all your needs by thinking and behaving certain ways. Now you find yourself in situations that do not respond to old ideas and old behaviors. In short, you are being forced out of your old self and into a new. Many resist this push from new life situations and new needs and they "try to hold on to their old ideas" and behaviors. The result? Nil. Nothing changes. Needs are not satisfied.

What's the answer? New ideas, new thinking, new behaviors for new needs. There is no short cut. The wise man will not tell his pupil to think and behave as HE did in the old days. He will tell his pupil to think and behave as he should in the new day.