A Thought is Not a Feeling

Since I am in a "hopefully helping profession called counseling" I've asked more than a few people this question, "And, how do you feel about that?" Well, feelings are an important part of our lives. We would hardly be human if we had no emotions. Although most feelings are created by thoughts, we must distinguish between the two; feelings are not thoughts, never have been and never will be.

A thought is a mental calculation requiring some form of reason or logic, although the reasoning and logic may be faulty. A feeling is not a calculation. It is not a logical ideation. A feeling, which may or may not produce a physical sensation, is a mood or an attitude. The old saying "where there is smoke there is fire" may be applicable here. Where there is thought there are feelings. Smoke and are quite different and so are feelings and thoughts.

When I ask, :How do you feel about that?" the patient usually responds with a thought. They tell me what they think about "that". When I suggest that they have given me their thoughts, they often look very confused. "But, you asked how I felt about that and I told you how I felt?" This may be a teachable moment for the patient who knows that there is a difference between thoughts and feelings, she just bever thought that much about it. "When I asked you how you felt about that, yhoiu told me that you THOUGHT it was a good idea. Can you see that is not a feeling? You told me what you thought, not how you felt. Can you tell me how you felt about that by using these feelings as a guide: Mad, Sad, Glad, Afraid, Ashamed and Hurt. These are feelings, emotions not thoughts. "

It is interesting to note that once my client understands the difference (that he or she has always known) they are able to make the distinction between thoughts and feelings very quickly. At first, they may pause to think about how they feel about a matter. But, after a while they become aware of a feeling as it is happening. One may say, "I saw a young man steal an old lady's purse today and I thought the young man must be on drugs. It is a terrible thing to be on drugs, I'm sure. I felt sorry for the old lady." In this sentence we see how a person thinks and feels. The thought is "the boy must be on drugs to do some thing like that." The feeling is "sorry"
(sad, pity)for the old lady."

Feelings are not facts. They may be based on what appears to be facts, but they are not the facts. I may feel stupid, but my IQ says that I am in the high average range of intelligence. I may feel unattractive, but may be quite attractive to others. I may feel as if everyone is out to get me, while the truth may be intirely different. Feeling are not facts.

Feelings are not forever. They have a lifespan. If you are happy now you can count on something happening that will help change that feeling. Feelings are terminal. Feelings may seem to be forever, but they are not. A thought nor a feelings lasts forever. Some of my anxiety disordered patients think their panicky feeling will never go away, it is here to stay FOREVER. Not!!! Feelings come and go. Thoughts come and go. Whatever ain't forever.

Remember: Feelings and Thoughts are NOT, I repeat, NOT the same thing.