Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

     We are, at least in part, the sum total of our decisions. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every choice that we make there is a consequence. Most of these consequences float by undetected. Not all, however. Some of our choices have BIG consequences. Life changing, life rearranging consequences. And, we often do not know ahead of time which decision will be that life changer, life rearranger. Just saying.

     One of the most important aspects of living a life of contentment and composure is rational thinking. Rational thinking is thinking that is intially skeptical, not rudely, but in a way that is opposite gullible. It is thinking that is "evidence based" and "thought through", "thought out", "calculated thinking", using every available means of making a good choice. Sometimes our choices must be made immediately, without space for much calculation. The ole Boy Scout motto is "Be Prepared". It is possible to learn how to think rationally. It is possible to study thinking skills. In fact, if you will click on the iTube videos at the top of this blog page you will find some lectures, talks about Critical Thinking. After you read this blog post, go there and take some time to study Critical Thinking Skills. You will benefit greatly if you do.

     Take responsibility for your choices. Stop blaming every Tom, Dick and Harry for your situation. Of course you have been effected by others....WE ALL HAVE. Take your life by force. The force of choice. You have a choice. You are making choices right now. You could do different. You could live differently. You could work somewhere else. You could be with someone else. You could be more fulfilled. You could be happier. You could be more in control of your life. Your choices make all the difference. Like Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged into a wood and I took the one less traveled and that has made all the difference."
                           A choice, no doubt. It makes all the difference, every time.

Oh, one more thing. If you allow others to choose for you, consequences will come. But, you are forfeiting the basic ingredient of human freedom.....decision making.

"What Does Happiness Have to do With Love?"

      The wise man sent the young "happiness seeking" mother to The Love Tree. She was dissapointed because  it was happiness not love that she was seeking. Is there, however, a correlation between love and happiness? Remember, correlations are not necessarily causes. In other words, love does not necessarily cause happiness, but it may be involved with it some how.

     What is love? Like happiness, love is two things: (1) it is a feeling (2) it is a behavior. The feeling of love for a person is a feeling of affection, desire for relationship and, in some instances, a desire for sexual intimacy. Love as a behavior is kind, patient, and compassionate (see 1 Corinthians 13).

     I have been asked on occasions if I thought there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Yes. The basic difference is behavior vs. feeling. "I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I mean, she is a good person and I want her to be OK." (Kindness).  "Dr. Spears, I love Adolf  (Behavior) but I'm not IN LOVE with him." (Feelings). Translated....."Somebody needs to start packing here!" It seems to me that loveless (feeling) marriages produce intense unhappiness.

     We use the word "love" in place of  "like" sometimes. I love popcorn just does not really fit the idea of love. You may have a strong like for popcorn, but feelings of intimacy or desire for relationship is stretching it a bit. (You might want to take a look at a rather new word used for love...limerance.)

     Ok, so what's love got to do with it? Those lyrics would make a good song. What, if anything, does love have to do with happiness? Is there a correlation between them; love and happiness? Yes. Look at the qualities that constitute the Biblical idea of love found in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, just to name a few qualities. Are you happy when you are being envious, impatient, unkind or boasting? Not usually. You can learn how to be patient, how to be unenvious and kind. When you do, you may just find the secret that St. Paul was talking about when he stated that he had learned the secret of happiness.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Love just might be that secret. Something to think about.