"Jabbery"

"Jabbery" is a word that I coined to describe what goes on in most brains. The mind, created by the brain, is typically a non-stop voice machine. The "voice" inside your head (not schizophrenia) is called cognition or thought. Thinking carries the substance of life, the mind. And, the mind is often filled with "jabbery". So, what can we do about it?

First, we can become conscious of it. We can pay attention to our thoughts, the voice. Second, we can begin to weed out (quickly) what is worthy and what is not. This takes concentrated practice. Third, we can begin to take control of our "in-between" thought life. In other words, we can begin to slow the mental processes down through our practice of meditation and contemplation. The closest thing we westerners do that resembles meditation is sitting quietly in line at the McDonalds drive-through. Sit still with no noise. Focus on silence inside the brain. Stay there for as long as possible. Do that often.

Jabbery is an option not a fate.

"OMG if I Hear Attention Deficit Just Once More!"

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a real diagnosis that is made an unreal number of times. I know some physicians (Pediatricians) who will diagnose a child because the child came to their office. That's all the criteria needed for a firm diagnosis. The guys have waiting rooms full of momma's with zombie children drugged out of their lively spirits, or mom's with lively spirited children about to have their childhood stolen from them. There is something wrong with a culture that allows, even encourages  physicians to drug children away from their childhood. I understand that there are children who, without their medication, will not do well. Just saying.

Primary human liabilities include our tendency to zone out, to remain unconscious or unaware of almost anything. This is one area where almost all of us could use some help. Learning to "pay attention" is important. But, who of us ever went to a "How to Pay Attention" class? Learning to focus, to slow down, to attend and be conscience of, will make life seem more full.

A patient complaining of a inattentive spouse came to see me recently. He complained that his wife did not seem interested in him or their life together. "She hardly pays me any attention", he said, "And, that makes me want to find someone who will". If the situation does not change he is likely to venture forth in search of someone who will pay attention to him.

If there is a formula for great relationships, no matter what you may call them, it would start with interest. Think of how you met your partner, spouse, best friend, etc. No matter where you were or what you were doing, you were interested in that person. And, with that interest came attention and resulting affection and intimacy. If you are having trouble in your relationships may I suggest you look for a lack of interest, a lack of attention or something distracting.

Learning to pay attention and focus can be one of our primary goals for this week, month, and year.